Beauty Beneath Suffering

To behold the human condition is to get intimate with suffering.

When we are children, most of us are still filled with the spark of life: with bewildered eyes, it is easy to see everything as exciting & wondrous. We still have our sense of awe, as we first learn to navigate this miraculous playground we've been born into. Our hearts are untainted & our minds are open as imagination swirls with the possibilities of life.

As I have gotten older, however, it is easy to see & understand how people eventually become jaded with existing- a deep, exhausting ache that never quite seems to leave you; the essence of livelihood fading as life takes its toll. Sometimes, it takes the form of existential crisis & a perpetual search for purpose. Things become meaningless & we start to lack enthusiasm to continue moving forward. Sometimes, it is helplessness that the world is the way that it is. Sometimes, it is simply growing frustrated of the roles we play & contribute to in our daily lives, with each day a blur fading into the next. Suffering comes to us through loss, poverty, physical decline, emotional distress, etc.; although that is only some of the many faces it can wear both globally and interpersonally. Many of these aspects are not only inevitable, but a part of the natural progression of life running its course.

If life is a vast landscape stretched out further than the eye can see, then we each are travelers wandering its roads. We climb up the mountain to see unimaginable heights, only to travel wearily down it once more, & this cycle repeats itself over & over again until our journey here is done. There is a dichotomy of sorts constantly at play- in one hand, we taste moments of bliss, joy & happiness. We are reminded of the excitement in our tangible mortality again. In the other hand, suffering awaits us, taking various forms through all of its lessons & teachings. & without a doubt, it will make its presence renown, as it is a trustful companion that encompasses the entirety of our lives. In fact, in Buddhism, Buddha referred to it as The First Noble Truth of Suffering (Dukkha). Although we may try, it is unavoidable & a truth that comes hand in hand with our life experiences.

It took me many years to find gratitude for this all-too-familiar feeling. Even now, sometimes I still find myself questioning "why must we suffer?" & getting caught in the mentality of "why does this continue happening?" As I'm sure many of us have, it is so easy to fall victim to the thorns that have stung us, instead of taking the time to see the rose that was blooming from the same stalk afterall. When we are navigating moments of desperation, we would do anything to release its grip on us- but of course, the only way out is through. It is only through going into suffering itself that we are graced with the gifts & awareness that comes in hindsight.

A favorite artist of mine, Nessi Gomes, sings "If you can't stand to feel the pain, then you are senseless." This comes to mind especially when I think of how hard it is at times to endure the pain that is present in this world. If you are not aware of it, then you are likely turning a blind eye, as this is a fortunate & rare perspective to be able to hold & live within. Truthfully, though, I think there lies so much raw strength within facing the shadows of humanity & not turning away from them. In some ways, it is a gift waiting to be unwrapped: it is an offering of courageously staying connected to your heart, despite everything in this world that tells you to close it. You are present to each fluctuation, every high, every low, while some might & often do become numb to it all entirely. It can be challenging to not shut down whenever painful experiences arise, & it is completely normal to want to, but feeling the entire spectrum of life allows us to truly know each contrast that is found within the other.

In hindsight, suffering is what breaks us open- it allows us to truly feel the totality of our humanness & can be a crucial tool for awakening to that fact. & in its wake, a deeper sense of compassion & empathy can be birthed, if we choose to use these experiences as rites of passage that they can be. Suffering can be a catalyst to exponential spiritual growth & maturity: when each part of our false shell falls away through the blow that pain brings, we can reveal more insight & authentic understanding on the other side. Suffering is the remedy to self absorption, because while we may consider it is "only us" going through a particular situation, we are often shown a common ground with others that negates this idea. Through this, our relation to the world & others around us grows, seeing how our humanness is what connects us all through this shared understanding. Suffering is our reminder to cherish each fleeting moment, as nothing is permanent, but will surely make its mark when looking back. Suffering is our teacher, but only when we are ready to embrace the wisdom it is trying to bring us towards. Suffering is knowing hardship, but it does not have to be without reason.

Do you find it challenging to find the grace in suffering? How do you handle these moments whenever they arise? Feel free to share ♡